7 Surefire Signs A Man Is Done With The Relationship

Nothing seems to work, the thrill has gone. 

But, has it? Or is this just a bump in the road? 

Telling the difference can sometimes be tricky, and feeling down shouldn't be grounds for having a "where is this relationship going" talk.

This is my personal list of signs that show that, nope, it isn't just a slump, he's actually done with the relationship and saving it will require some drastic action.

signs he done with relationship


1. He's Monkey Branching

Monkey branching is a term that means that he is flirting and preparing his future romantic landscape while still in a committed relationship. This might mean:
  • Passing his cellphone number around like candy.
  • Engaging in flirtatious, emoji-filled conversations with other women.
  • Acting guiltily or defensive when questioned.
Yes, flirting can be a way of being likeable and opening certain social doors. But if he's acting like he has something to hide to you, and open and accessible to other women, chances are he's considering jumping to another branch.

2. He's Indifferent

The holy grail of negative signs is an indifferent partner.

Anger, resentment and other classical doomsday signs all have one thing in common: They involve emotion. Indifference is the next stage, a prelude to being done with it all, when even the ability to summon an angry emotion is gone.

Indifference is the real killer, and is a sign that he has mentally checked out. 

Don't confuse indifference with submission. If he stops fighting for the relationship, it isn't always a sign he agrees with you and is "negotiating". Sometimes he just doesn't care enough to change what the relationship is, because he is on his way out.

indifferent ex

3. He Spends Less Time With You

Time is the currency of love. The more we value something, the more we covet it, the more we seek it. 

A warning: If your relationship is new, it is normal to notice some distancing and space as you switch from the attraction to attachment stages of the relationship. This is a normal sign that the relationship is progressing to a more natural, sustainable rhythm and has nothing to do with disinterest.

Indifference is different. It feels different. The detachment isn't a refocusing of priorities on other aspects of life, it is the death of feeling in the relationship. 

4. He Disrespects You

Disrespect comes in many forms, but the bottom line is that it shows that he has given up on seeing the relationship as an even playing field. And there's only so much time you can spend looking down on your partner before you begin to wonder if you can do better.

Some examples of the kind of disrespect I'm talking about are:
  • Publicly shaming you.
  • Bad-mouthing you.
  • Treating your opinions and concerns with scorn.
  • "I'll do it myself", because clearly you can't (according to him).
  • He becomes petty and angry about the small things.
  • He constantly blames you.
Disrespect, if not confronted, is a sign that he is done. However, it is not too late to turn it around. Consider disrespect a rather childish warning he is checking out. 

boyfriend talking behind back

5. Your Sex Life Is Flat lining

Similar to point (3) context is important. It is normal to expect your sex life to wane slightly as you progress through attraction into attachment, but an emotionally detached man will tend to detach from intimacy as well. 

I'm not talking about sex, per se, I'm talking about intimacy. Sex may feel less of a bonding experience and more like mechanical stress relief. 

Whatever the case may be, this is something that you should weigh according to your history and personal relationship criteria.

6. He Is Showing Signs Of Depression

Has he stopped caring, not only about you, but about himself?

A man who is displaying signs of depression may be stuck in an unsustainable relationship. Maybe he has give away too much of what he needs, or maybe there are other factors that he is hiding from you. 

It isn't always about you as a partner, or about the relationship. But know this, in most cases there will come a point where change will become necessary to break from his own personal hell. And when that occurs, the quickest way to provoke change is to break out of the relationship, even if the relationship is not to blame. 

signs of depression

7. He Tells You So

Sometimes we are told, point-blank, that our partner is done with the relationship. But we ignore it because we mistake it for a manipulative attempt to get us to reform along whatever lines he wants.

Yes, sometimes it is the product of manipulation. But sometimes it isn't.

Breakups rarely happen out of the blue. If you've been through the breakup process before, I'm sure there came a point where you realized the signs he was done were offered many months before the breakup occurred, but we chose to ignore them or didn't realize what they were.

If he says he'd done, take it seriously, because he might just be.